Q: My dog likes certain games and will bring me specific toys to play with. I’m supposed to hold some of their chew toys, but not others. Can they have preferences?

A: Imagine if someone else made all your decisions for you: when to eat, where to sleep, and what to do every minute of the day. That would be incredibly frustrating. Our pets experience similar feelings. While they depend on us for food and care, they need to have an opportunity to make their own choices. Allowing pets to make decisions offers a sense of safety, confidence, and greater control over their lives.

When pets are given choices, they can express their emotions and needs more effectively. A dog may opt to walk away from something scary rather than barking or growling, and a cat might prefer to play rather than be picked up. These small decisions can reduce pets’ stress and improve their comfort.

Choice also allows for better learning. Animals are more cooperative when they feel they have a say in what’s happening. A dog who gets to choose which game to play is likely to stay more focused and engaged longer. When animals feel coerced, they can shut down or react defensively; when they feel they are being heard, they are more relaxed and responsive.

Offering choice shows kindness. Pets should not be expected to be blindly obedient. They are thoughtful, emotional creatures with preferences and personalities. By allowing them to make choices, we can gain their trust and deepen the human-animal bond. Pets thrive when they feel acknowledged and understood, like humans.

The next time you are with your pet, give them some choices: let them select between two different treats, decide when to take a break, or pick which direction for a walk. You will see more confidence and engagement in them when they feel the freedom to make their own decisions.